Dougtionary

ˈtōs(t)-ˌkärd

noun

A browned piece of bread that can be mailed for 29 cents.

ˈer-ō-gəns

noun

An attitude of overbearing superiority from a master archer.

ˈvā-grənt

noun

An obscure, undefined or generic person who has no specific place to live.

ˈē-gō-stə-ˈtis-tiks

noun

A branch of mathematics that is quite impressed with itself and uses “I” as the most frequent variable in equations.

ˈna-pə-ˌrōn

noun

An adult who accompanies minors to an event and falls asleep, doesn’t pay attention to the children, or overlooks their questionable actions.

ˈpär-kə-ˌlep-sē

noun

A condition that causes deep attacks of sleep either while in a public grassy area or while in a stationary car.

täzh ˈmä-hä-lō

noun

A centuries old Hawaiian mausoleum know for it’s gigantic marble hand shaped shaka sign.

ˈches-chər

noun

A movement of the breasts that expresses or emphasizes an idea, sentiment or attitude.

The use of motions of the breasts as a means of expression.

brü-ˈtēn

noun

A habit related to consumption of beer, typically frequency or method of drinking.

Example: “My brewtine is to begin my evening with three high quality beers, followed by twelve or more cheap beers.”

“My brewtine is to shotgun the first three beers for a quick buzz and then pace myself for the remainder of the evening.”

mā-ˈnäzh-ä-ˈbä

noun

A three way relationship involving two sheep and a human.

ˈən-dər-ˌdəg

noun

A smaller blog (Dougtionary) that is up against higher profile blogs and podcasts in the Grammar.net best grammar blog of 2011 contest.

A fake word blog that is expected to be a longshot in the Grammar.net contest.

Which is exactly why we need your vote.

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…and please vote now for the “UNDERDOUG” and help push Dougtionary up to the top of Grammar.net’s contest.

bräk-ˈtä-lə-jē

noun

A branch of medicine dealing with a broccoli’s rectum.

pä-mə-ˌsīd

noun

A death caused by excessive consumption of pomegranate juice.

hek-ˈstir-ē-ər

noun

The outside of a six-sided structure.

twi-tər pē-ˈa–nō

noun

A stringed instrument with 140 keys.

ˈtwaɪrd

adjective

Physically exhausted but too amped up on coffee or other stimulants and unable to sleep.

ˈpyü--bi-ˌkän

noun

A boundary or limiting line, especially one that when crossed exposes a person irrevocably, such as tweeting a picture of your wiener.

ˈfyü-jə-list

noun

A boxer who flees from prosecution.

(Note: not to be confused with fugliest.)

trī-ˈȯr-ə-ˌtīz

verb

To rank in order of importance with three or more items placed in the most important or #1 slot.

ha-ˈfēn

noun

A half-caf.

ˈbər-dər

noun

The crime of killing a large flock of feathered animals while they are in flight.

ˈblast-fə-mē

noun

Using force or destructive acts in an attempt to impose your version of God’s will on others.

ˈker-ət ˈle-giŋ

verb

A competition that involves stuffing one’s pants with numerous long pointed orange vegetables.

This activity is the vegan version of Ferret Legging.

ˈgōt ˈchek

noun

A service provided at events where one can safely leave their Capra hircus or other sheep-like animals.

ˈyaŋ-ō-vər

noun

Having the symptoms, often including headaches and or queasiness, due to a deficiency or imbalance of yin.

ˈpə-pē -bȯrdˈiŋ

noun

An interrogation technique in which two or more small dogs lick the target’s mouth and nose so vigorously that it is difficult to breath and often causes one to give up state secrets they didn’t even know they possessed.

fěl’ən-tīnz’ dā

noun

A holiday that is celebrated by giving candy and exchanging greeting cards with convicts.

sāk rĭ-lĭj’əs

Noun

The practice of worshiping nads.

ās rěk’əg-nĭsh’ən

noun

A feature in Cadillac cars that identifies one’s butt and automatically adjusts the seats and mirrors to one’s presets.

də-brē’-lŭng’kĭng

verb

Using climbing gear to navigate through the neighborhood after a storm leaves tree branches, logs and trash scattered all over the neighborhood.