Dougtionary

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ˌfrō-ə-ˈbi-shən

noun

A law forbidding a large head of extremely tight curly hair that was repealed in 1959, paving the way for the frovolution of the ’60′s and ’70′s.

brä-ˈthe-lō

noun

A whore house with a Shakespeare theme.

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bə-ˈna-nə-ˌri-zəm

noun

A characteristic, often unconscious, that is representative of an elongated tropical fruit that has soft pulpy flesh enclosed in a soft usually yellow rind.

ˈdrī ˈhəmp ˈdā

noun

A wednesday with no rain in the forecast.

ˈber-ˈēs-tə

noun

A naked person who makes and serves coffee.

ˈa-sə-fist

noun

An abrasive person who has a tendency to annoy others to the point that their actions cause a fight and then they refuse to fight back or defend themselves and get severely beaten up.

The secret love child of Rush Limbaugh and Gandhi

əd-ˈma-nə-ˌstrā-tiv ə-ˈsist-tənt

noun

A male secretary.

ˈtōs(t)-ˌkärd

noun

A browned piece of bread that can be mailed for 29 cents.

ˈer-ō-gəns

noun

An attitude of overbearing superiority from a master archer.

ˈvā-grənt

noun

An obscure, undefined or generic person who has no specific place to live.

ˈē-gō-stə-ˈtis-tiks

noun

A branch of mathematics that is quite impressed with itself and uses “I” as the most frequent variable in equations.

ˈna-pə-ˌrōn

noun

An adult who accompanies minors to an event and falls asleep, doesn’t pay attention to the children, or overlooks their questionable actions.

ˈpär-kə-ˌlep-sē

noun

A condition that causes deep attacks of sleep either while in a public grassy area or while in a stationary car.

täzh ˈmä-hä-lō

noun

A centuries old Hawaiian mausoleum know for it’s gigantic marble hand shaped shaka sign.

ˈches-chər

noun

A movement of the breasts that expresses or emphasizes an idea, sentiment or attitude.

The use of motions of the breasts as a means of expression.

brü-ˈtēn

noun

A habit related to consumption of beer, typically frequency or method of drinking.

Example: “My brewtine is to begin my evening with three high quality beers, followed by twelve or more cheap beers.”

“My brewtine is to shotgun the first three beers for a quick buzz and then pace myself for the remainder of the evening.”

mā-ˈnäzh-ä-ˈbä

noun

A three way relationship involving two sheep and a human.

ˈən-dər-ˌdəg

noun

A smaller blog (Dougtionary) that is up against higher profile blogs and podcasts in the Grammar.net best grammar blog of 2011 contest.

A fake word blog that is expected to be a longshot in the Grammar.net contest.

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bräk-ˈtä-lə-jē

noun

A branch of medicine dealing with a broccoli’s rectum.

pä-mə-ˌsīd

noun

A death caused by excessive consumption of pomegranate juice.

hek-ˈstir-ē-ər

noun

The outside of a six-sided structure.

twi-tər pē-ˈa–nō

noun

A stringed instrument with 140 keys.

ˈtwaɪrd

adjective

Physically exhausted but too amped up on coffee or other stimulants and unable to sleep.

ˈpyü--bi-ˌkän

noun

A boundary or limiting line, especially one that when crossed exposes a person irrevocably, such as tweeting a picture of your wiener.

ˈfyü-jə-list

noun

A boxer who flees from prosecution.

(Note: not to be confused with fugliest.)

trī-ˈȯr-ə-ˌtīz

verb

To rank in order of importance with three or more items placed in the most important or #1 slot.

ha-ˈfēn

noun

A half-caf.