Dougtionary

ĭ-nē-’brē-āt’ adjective, in·e·bri·at·ed So intoxicated that your knees become wobbly and can’t hold you up. verb, -at·ed, -at·ing To get so drunk that your knees can’t hold you up. (Brace yourself. This one will get lots of use tonight.)

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ās-ĭ-děm’ĭk adjective Of or relating to higher learning, alcohol and really bad ideas that seemed good at the time. Like all the drunk idiots that put bottle rockets in their ass-cheeks, light them and videotape for YouTube. Click here if you really need to see an example.

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ə-kô-sti’kŏt’ə-mē noun A surgical procedure that removes one’s ability to approach and speak aggressively. A procedure or deterrent that removes one’s desire to solicit sex.

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ān-tāg’ə-nī-zō’nē-əm noun Wild uproar or unrestrained disorder caused by antagonizing a specific group of people, such as the extreme end of the political spectrum. Similar to pandermonium, except it is meant to provoke a hostile or unfriendly response.

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pān’dər-mō’nē-əm noun Wild uproar or unrestrained disorder caused by pandering a specific group of people, such as the extreme end of the political spectrum. Similar to antagonizonium, except it is meant to provoke a more positive response from the recipients.

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āb’sə-lāt adjective Always arriving late. My absolate friend Steve always has an excuse or blames his tardiness on traffic. Or when your bartender shows up late and everyone is waiting for the vodka he was bringing.

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fō’tō-splāz’əm noun An excess of worthless pictures that your friends or relatives take (and show, email to you, force you to look at) because they have a digital camera.

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kə-tās’trə-jěn’ĭk adjective Suitable for producing a large catastrophe or disaster. Often found at events involving large amounts of alcohol. The undergrads’ catastrogenic party was busted by the cops just as they lit the couch on fire.

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āl-bwī’nō noun A drunk with no skin pigment.

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āb’sə-lōōt’lā noun A guaranteed booty call.

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ā’nəls ŭv tīm noun The shit can of our history. All of the horrible things our country has done, which will include every single moment of G.W. Bush’s presidency. There’s no possible way to spin any of this into something that even remotely appears to be good.

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ōld’äns’ noun The opposite of nuance. In your face obvious difference or distinction in expression, meaning or response. Like when a bad comedian tells a horrible joke and says “Hey” at the end to punch it and desperately try to get a laugh. When a really old person blatantly says whatever they want even if [...]

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āf’rŏn’ə-mē The study of afros.

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sīn lāng’gwĭj Mathematical geek talk.

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fyōō’tīl’ The relief you feel when giving up on a useless attempt. Often confused with “futile” due to their difficult to distinguish pronunciations.

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sěks’tē noun or adjective A person in their 60′s who still looks hot. A quality a person has if they are still hot in their 60′s.

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fĭ-nŏm’ə-nŏn’ə-məs noun An anonymous phenomenon. (Say that 5 times really fast!)

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jō-kāb’yə-lěr’ē noun Funny or fake words. Pretty much everything posted on this blog.

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fŭj pāk’ĭ-stān’ē noun A middle eastern holiday treat. Or perhaps a fruitcake.

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ĭ-rāk’ shŭf’əl noun Our administration’s policy of shuffling troops around within iRaq to make it look like they are accomplishing something. The dance our administration does when they don’t want to honestly answer questions about the problems or situation in iRaq.

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slŭfĭz’əm noun The philosophy or art of sluffing off.

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pī-dē’ə-lĭz’əm noun The tendency to represent things in a circular form, or as they might or should be if they were a circle, rather than the way the are, with an emphasis on shape. The tendency to seek out the ideal pie.

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sōl’ĭ-dār’ĭ-tē noun Unity or interest or purpose only within yourself. Solo or sole. Or being in alignment with the bottom of your foot. (Not to be confused with solidarity. It’s amazing what difference a single letter can make.)

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mĭd’l ēs’t-āl’ĭ-tē Humans having sex with a camel. (Okay, that’s the end of this theme. For those who are begging for more, here are a few words that didn’t make the final cut: ceastiality, policetiality, subleasetiality )

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mĭd’-ēs’t-āl’ĭ-tē noun A human having sex with a camel.

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(A friend liked yesterday’s word and asked for more, so this will be a small run on the topic. If you’re appalled at the content, please check back in a few days for some more wholesome words.) flēs’t-āl’ĭ-tē noun Having sex with an Old Navy pullover.

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dĭ-sēs’t-āl’ĭ-tē noun A cross between bestiality and necrophilia. Sex with dead animals.

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mān’chō’vē noun A condition when a guy hasn’t showered in a few days and he “doesn’t feel fresh”. Salty nads.

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strĭp’chər noun Anything written about a biblical sexual experience with a stripper.

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hō-kāb’yə-lěr’ē noun Pimp talk. Words used by pimps and hookers.

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