Dougtionary

tĭt’ē-ət
noun
One who becomes a total idiot when they see a woman’s breasts (either bare or in a tight shirt).

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kām’əl tō’zōn’
noun
Pure and refreshing air near a camel toe.
The area around or clothing that forms to a camel toe.
The area around a vaginal wedgie.

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bôl’bôrd’ ād’vər-tīz’mənt
noun
A billboard sized ad that is painted on one’s nads. You must have a big pair to pull this one off!

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nād’ dŏl’ərz
noun
Money earned by your nads.
Any money your nad carries in his wallet.

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nād’ rěv’ə-nōō
noun
Revenue earned from the use of ones nads or from advertising on one’s nads.

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nād’vər-tī’zĭng
noun
The action of calling something to the attention of the public esp. by using your nads.
The business of preparing advertisements for publication on ones nads.

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shām-pā’nəs
noun
Someone who becomes a total ass when they drink champagne.
The champagne equivalent of a wine snob.
One who talks down to you because they think they are a champagne know-it-all.
One who gives themselves a champagne enema to get drunk quickly.
** Let’s bust out the champagnus! This is a milestone — definition #100!

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āb-stā’nəs
noun
One who refrains from back door sex.

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gĭd’ē-ət
noun
One who is both giddy and an idiot at the same time.

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hī’brĭd’ē-ət
noun
Someone who drives a hybrid car but doesn’t do anything else to help the planet, such as recycling, using CFL instead of incandescent light bulbs, and not burning tires.
Someone who drives a hybrid car and cuts you off in traffic.

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slŏp’ē jō’zōn’
noun
The area around the dinner table that is covered in Sloppy Joe remnants after a sloppy joe meal. The Sloppy Joezone is much larger for a family with small children.

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hwō’zōn’
noun
When you are talking with a group of people and your conversation goes so far over the line of acceptability or political correctness that everyone backs off or exclaims “Whoa!” in unison.

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flāp’jāk’rə-bāt’
noun
One who does stunts when flipping a pancake.

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ĭn’fĭ-d’l
noun
An unbeliever who does not accept the Muslim faith, yet plays a small stringed instrument.

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āk’sĭ-dəm’ĭ-tər
noun
A tool used to measure the likelihood of an accident.
A device that is helpful to have on hand when consuming large quantities of alcohol, although in that type of environment, the accidemeter rarely gets used.

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snāk’rə-bāt’
noun
An animal, such as a dog, who will do tricks for snacks.

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sĭks pāk’sĭ-dənt
noun
An accident that happens after at least a six pack of beer or after drinking significant amounts of any type of alcohol.
An accident that involves spilling a 72 ounce beer.

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skrāb
noun
A scribe who scabs. Worse than your average scab, because they might try to find ways to avoid crossing picket lines by working remotely, which is not possible for other industry unions like the auto workers. DON’T BE A SCRAB!

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prō-jěn’ĭ-tl
adjective
The opposite of congenital.
Anyone who supports genitals and their cause.

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kā-kŏm’ĭ-tər
noun
A device that measures the intensity of a cackle.

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lāf’ĭ-kəl
noun
The proper name for the funny bone.

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lāk’əl
noun
The midpoint between a laugh and a cackle.
The point where a cackle turns back into a laugh.
When you laugh so hard that no sound comes out of your mouth, your stomach hurts and you gasp for air.

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ām-trāk’sĭ-dənt
noun
An accident involving a train, or any type of situation that can be called a train wreck.
“Your department is an Amtrakcident waiting to happen.”

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snāk’sĭ-dənt
noun
An accident involving food or drink, such as Kool-Aid, graham crackers or cookies.

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flāk’sĭ-dənt
noun
An accident that, when it happens, you know you’re going to receive a ton of flak from your friends or colleagues, such as an olympic gymnast tripping and falling on a flat sidewalk.

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blāk’sěnt’
noun
Any of the varying accents from central or southern African nations.

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prō-sûrd’
adjective
Believable or rational.
The opposite of absurd.

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hĭp’ō-krĭt’
noun
A large herbivorous mammal found in and near the rivers and lakes of Africa, that pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs or principles that it does not actually possess.

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ĭ-rāk’’sĭ-dənt
noun
All of the accidents and problems that have occurred in Iraq due to our inept administration’s bad policies.

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snē’zən-ĭng
noun
Pepper.
Or…
Flavoring your food (or someone else’s) by sneezing on it, either intentionally or by accident.
(For a related word, check out Phlegmonade)

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