Dougtionary

bär’mə-gěd’n noun A bar fight of epic proportions that usually results in total destruction of the bar. This is a picture of Pier 52, in Hermosa Beach, May 2006. I swear I had nothing to do with it. Really.

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bûr-nē verb To be dead to the world, such as a deep sleep or intoxicated to the point of being passed out and unaware of noises or commotion in the room. “I majorly bernied last night and didn’t hear you come in singing vulgar songs at the top of your lungs, although all the neighbors [...]

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āl-’kə-hô’lĭk noun A person who is addicted to alcohol, but only drinks ale.

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dĭk-ē-pē’dē-ə noun A term for someone who’s being a total dick for talking like a know-it-all.

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bŏr’ōĭng ĭt fôr’wərd verb Borrowing money from one person (usually a small amount) so you can pay back another person to whom you owe money. Similar to balance transfer on a credit cards, but instead borrowing money from one person to pay off another.

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māl ôr’dər noun An amount of disorder that males are typically comfortable with, such as piles of clothes on the floor and empty pizza boxes laying around.

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bär’jōō-əs adjective Laborious or difficult, to one who has been drinking at the bar and lost most motor skills, but easy for anyone who is sober, such as standing, walking, dialing a cell phone, speaking intelligible words and perhaps not falling over.

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brō-kāb’yə-lěr’ē noun The lingo a guy uses with his buddies, or “bros,” often a shorthand that’s full of inside jokes and sometimes hard for an outsider to follow.

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bîr’ō noun A hero character who performs amazing feats saving people from danger single handedly, not because he is extraordinary, but because he has a beer in his other hand.

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bär–ĭs’tə-krāt’ noun One who hangs out in expensive, snobby bars.

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crāp’ĭ-tī’zĭng adj Extremely unhealthy food. Crap you shouldn’t eat even though you like it. Sometimes used as a synonym for unappetizing.

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mān’ĭk-dōt’ noun A short testosterone driven account of an interesting or humorous incident that a guy tells to his buddies, often while drinking a beer. A story of conquest involving a high level of embellishment.

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bär’bĭ-trā’shən noun The process by which the parties to a dispute settle it in a bar over a beer, often ending in a fistfight (and in some cases followed by another beer).

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kŏm’ə-tōs’ noun, One who, is grammatically brain dead, and, inserts excessive commas, where they,, don’t belong, ,,,,,,,,,

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krā-pŏl’ə-jīz’ verb To offer an insincere apology due to obligation or necessity. To offer an insincere apology just to smooth things over with one who has more power than the crapologizer, such as a boss, parent or politician.

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bär-tĭk’yə-lĭt verb To pronounce speech that is so slurred, only another drunk can understand it.

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lěp’rĭ-kŏn’mān noun An elf that swindles one out of their money or valuables.

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frāt’ĭ-tōōd’ noun A frat boy with an attitude.

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slāk-tā’shən noun When an unmotivated mother with no direction or drive avoids feeding her baby on schedule.

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tī-sōōn’ noun The wreckage and aftermath caused by Mike Tyson when he is let loose or allowed to wreak havoc and make his own decisions.

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āsbûr’gər sĭn’drōm’ noun A disorder characterized by one who becomes a total ass-burger, which is one step worse than being an ass hat.

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bär’sən noun Voluntarily and willfully setting fire to things such as couches, old mattresses and anything else flammable after a night of excessive drinking at a bar.

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krāp’ĭ-tīt’ noun A desire for crappy food. Being extremely hungry to the point that you’ll eat anything without regard to nutritional value.

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mānt’lər noun The horn of a man, although unlike a large elk, a mantler usually only has one point.

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ĭ-kô’fē-gəs noun A burned esophagus from drinking really hot coffee.

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yěl’dər noun An older person who is hard of hearing and yells instead of talking at a normal volume.

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mān’tī-ŏk’sĭ-dənt noun Beer.

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ān’ĭk-dōlt noun A short account of something really stupid or dull that wasn’t worth retelling. Or a short account as told by a complete idiot.

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spām’pyŏŏ-tāt’ verb To implement or install the latest spam filters and prevent spam from hitting your email inbox.

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hôr’gə-nīzd’ krīm noun The branch of the mafia that specializes in the sex trade.

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