Dougtionary

bä-rŏk blŏkĭng
verb
What Hilary is doing by prolonging the Democratic primary.

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shāg’ər-ə-fō’bē-ə
noun
An abnormal fear of having sex in open or public places.

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wûrk-lāgd
adjective
A temporary disruption of the body’s normal biological rhythms caused by an insanely heavy work week that prevents one from partying on Friday night due to exhaustion.

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ĭl’ē-ətākt
Acronym
It’s Late, I Am Tired And Can’t Think.
(There’s some truth to this one, and it also created a new word.)

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āsstrŏl’ə-jē
noun
The study of one’s own or another’s ass.

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māk’rə-bāt’
noun
One who performs crazy stunts with their Mac, like the guys that use their Mac Books as lights sabers.
Here are some examples:
Video1
Video2

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māk’rō’fō’bē-ə
noun
An illogical fear of Macintosh computers.
A fear of small tubed pasta with cheese.

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kôr’pər-ĭt wěj’ē
noun
What you get when your boss dumps a ton of work on your desk Friday afternoon at 4pm and tells you it’s due on Monday at 9 AM. If it’s a 3 day weekend, that’s the extra tug once it’s already wedged.
What you get when a “customer service” agent gives you the “I’m just [...]

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ô’tō klŭb lĭm’ō
noun
A cheap taxi service obtained by calling AAA to tow your car (and you) home when you’re too drunk to drive.

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fān’təm bŭz
noun
An occurrence where one feels the buzz of a cell phone in their pocket/purse/bag and grabs the phone to discover that it wasn’t ringing or vibrating.

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dôg’shə-něr’ē
noun
The version of Dougtionary that was translated into animal language and is sold at most popular pet hangouts.

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bähä mŏn-tān’ə
noun
Wyoming.

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bär’chə-rē
noun
The art, sport or skill of throwing, slinging or shooting an object at a target (often a person) while at a bar.

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dwěl’dər
noun
An older person who won’t go away.

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mōōn tāng
noun
Outer space sex.

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vois’māl’ wôrp
noun
Phone messages intended for someone else or left on the wrong machine
When one’s outgoing message clearly states, “You have reached Ted, please leave a message,” and someone leaves a message such as, “Jessica, I was hoping to reach you today…”
A situation that causes one to scream at their phone, “Listen to the outgoing message, [...]

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āp’rə-fō
adverb or adjective
Initially appears fitting, relevant; at the right time; opportunely; pertinent…
but upon closer inspection it turns out not to be the case.

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slā-kĭm’ĭ-tər
noun
An instrument for measuring the amount and degree of one’s laziness.

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byōō’tē sə-lōōn’
noun
A place where one can get their hair styled or a manicure along with some booze.
These places are still relatively new, but I think they’re catching on. I saw this sign in North Hollywood yesterday.

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bär’gyōō-ə-bəl
adjective
Open to argument at a bar.

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sŭn ĭg-zôs’chən
noun
A condition caused when one spends part of the day laying around in the sun, and then upon going inside, you feel extremely tired (from doing nothing) and need to take a nap.

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spām-fět’ə-mēn’
noun
A horrible drug that causes one to forward a bunch of unfunny “joke” emails to everyone in their address book.

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zŏm’bē sûr’fĭng
verb
To mindlessly surf the internet when one should be working, sleeping or doing something productive.
Surfing the internet without comprehending the content or without really looking at it. Click… click… click…

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ās’mə
noun
A condition that makes it difficult to breathe from one’s ass because someone’s nose is lodged in it.

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krā-pŏth’ĭ-sĭs
noun
A scientific hypothesis that is completely off base or fatally flawed.

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bär-tĭl’ə-rē
noun
Anything in a bar that can be used as a weapon, such as a pint glass, pool cue, guitar or bar stool.

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bānd wāg’ən
noun
A car with expired tags.
A stolen car.
Anything you drive across the border that will probably get you arrested. A camel or a riding lawn mower will usually do the trick.

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fēs’tĭv
adjective
Like a typical celebration but with even more food, a ginormous feast.
(This word is subtle in written form, but easy to discern when spoken: Festive vs. Feastive)
** And now it is time to celebrate. This is entry # 200 !!! **

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bānd sô
verb
Past tense of “band see”.

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sûrf’rĭj
noun
The right to surf.
(Women didn’t attain this right until 1920.)

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