Dougtionary

pĭg’ə-mē noun Being married to more than one swine.

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ĭ-sěk’shōō-əl adjective A person only responsive to sex with electronic devices or from viewing porn on the internet or mobile devices.

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bĭg tōō-pā noun A level of status, one step below a big wig.

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prēstē-āl’ĭ-tē noun Sex with a member of the clergy.

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sām-nē’zhə noun Faking memory loss to get out of work, a relationship, financial debt, etc.

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və-nĭl’ən noun An extremely plain or ordinary evil person. A stereotypical or one dimensional antagonist in a movie or a TV show, often a drug lord, Russian, middle eastern terrorist or whomever the enemy of the year happens to be.

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bûrrrr-lěsk’ noun A striptease act and a scantily clad female chorus show in the middle of winter.

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pět’ə-mĭz’əm noun A doctrine or worst of all possible worlds belief about household pets. A tendency to stress negative or gloomy views about domesticated house pets, such as, “The dog will probably get run over by a car”, or “Why did we buy Spot, he’s just going to eventually die anyway.”

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hām-bĭg’yōō-əs adjective or noun Mystery meat. Possibly some form of pork, possibly not. “That hambiguous pile on your plate looks disgusting.”

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vō-kā’shənôl vā-kā’shən noun A vacation where one takes their laptop and/or blackberry and checks email and does other work activities because one feels that their company won’t get by without their involvement.

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yôn’dē-əns noun A weary or tired group of spectators at a public event such as a film, performance, seminar, etc.

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rā zěn-tōst A breakfast waiter at Denny’s or the International House of Pancakes.

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lěp’rĭ-kŏn’-vŭl’shən noun What a leprechauleptic gets when they have a seizure.

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pāntz-hôrn noun A device that helps one get into a really tight pair of jeans.

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dĭ-rānj’əz noun A disturbed relative of the hydrangea family that doesn’t get invited over for the holidays. An insane flower that should be locked in an asylum.

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lōō’nē tōōn-tāng noun Sex while falling off a cliff into a deep ravine.

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pā’strē-ärk’ noun A male head of the family who also makes baked goods.

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mŭsk-s’tāsh’ noun Facial hair with a strong odor.

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gĭd’ē-ŏt’ĭk adjective Lacking seriousness and also being senselessly foolish, stupid or insanely irresponsible at the same time.

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bär-ō’mə noun The stench of stale beer.

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nĭn’jə-hō’vəs wĭt’nĭsəs noun Don’t mess with these guys. They look harmless in their pressed shirts and ties, riding their bicycles, but they will occasionally jump out of trees and kick your ass.

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hěl’ā-tō’sĭs noun Extremely very very horribly bad breath to the Nth degree. Hella bad breath.

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crāp’ən-děk’tə-mē noun A surgery that can be necessary if you don’t eat enough fiber.

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hī’dē-ŏl’ə-jē noun One’s who believes in a system where individuals can smoke tons of marijuana without breaking the law.

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hŭng’kē-ŏl’ə-jē noun The science that studies strong attractive men.

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hŏtē-ŏl’ə-jē noun The science that studies attractive women.

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hŏtē-ŏl’ə-jē noun The science that studies very attractive women.

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lěp’rĭ-kŏn’-chěr’tō noun Music played by an orchestra made up of small elves.

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shāg’ə-nīz’ verb To struggle or suffer distress about having sex.

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nĭn’jə-kōō’zē noun A large tub of hot water, often with jets, used by ninjas after a long day of fighting.

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