Dougtionary

frē lō’fĭng
verb
Hanging around at Porto’s just before closing to score free bread.
http://www.portosbakery.com/aboutus.htm

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blāk sāt’ər-dē
noun
A day of mourning for people injured or killed in a Walmart stampede.

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ōld skōōl krĭs’məs shŏpĭng
noun
The act of going to a mall to buy presents instead of purchasing online.

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mē’dē-ō’krə’tər
noun
A person who facilitates the barely adequate, poor or inferior.

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dŭm’ən-strā’shən
noun
The act of displaying, explaining or illustrating something that is unintelligent, stupid or haphazzard.

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prěz’ĭ-dənt ə-jā’sənt
noun
One who works closely with the president and is part of his cabinet.
Rahm Emanuel.

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swāgē-îr
adjective
An event or occurrence that has more free gifts than another event or occurrence.

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mōōn’ə-stěr’ē
noun
A house of monks who frequently bare their backsides.

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s’měd’ĭ-kāt’ĭd
verb
Contraction of self medicated.

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pā’lē-ə-tŏn’ĭk
noun
An ancient cocktail that was first created somewhere between 230-544 million yeas ago.
adjective
Relating to a non-sexual relationship between cave people.

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pĭg’ə-trē
noun
Stubborn and complete intolerance of swines.

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lěf-təs-něs
noun
The quality or state of being immoral or having bad conduct.
The opposite of righteousness.

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těl’ə-pôr-tā’tō
verb
Considering getting up off the couch or feeling the need to get up off the couch and do something productive or active, but instead choosing to stay sunk into the couch and watch television.
(Did you go to the beach over the weekend? –No, I teleportatoed all day Saturday and Sunday.)

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shāg’mə-tĭz’əm
noun
Character or conduct that emphasizes a practical method to getting laid.

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sā’lēn’ māg’nĭt
noun
A person or a device that attracts fake breasts.

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mŏn’ə-stôr’ē
noun
A tale told about a residence full of monks.

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fôr’ĭn-kā’shən
noun
Sex in a foreign country or sex with a foreigner.
(If you are American, it is debatable if sex with a Canadian would be considered foreigncation. It’s a gray area.)

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ād’vĭl
noun
An over the counter drug that eases the pain when one has been kicked in the privates.

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bān’ĭsh’ĭsh
verb
To sort of expel someone or something but not be concerned with enforcement or the subject’s return.

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mĭlfĭsh
noun
A sexy cold-blooded aquatic vertebrate with fins and gills that has already given birth to offspring.

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pōst’kŏg-nĭsh’ən
noun
Knowledge of an event or situation after one has already seen it.

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môr’nĭng’kāp’
noun
An alcoholic drink taken in the morning, usually with breakfast or in place of breakfast.
A screwdriver with pancakes.

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drābĭsh
adjective
Somewhat dull or somewhat lacking in spirit, brightness or excitement.

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bär’kē-ŏl’ə-jē
noun
The branch of science that studies ancient taverns.

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pōst pā’lĭn dĭ-prěsh’ən
noun
An overall gloomy feeling John McCain has now that the election is over and Sarah Palin is no longer his running mate.

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ĭ-lěks’lāks
noun
A drug that will help get the election and media hoopla out of our system & helps relieve political constipation.

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ĭ-lěk’shən dā stärbŭks mār’ə-thŏn’
noun
A quest to go to every Starbucks in town and tell them that you voted to get as many free cups of coffee as possible.
(This just in. Apparently this promotion violates election laws. Instead, it’s being offered to anyone who orders a Tall Brewed Coffee. So the password for the day is… [...]

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prŏp’ə-zĭsh’ən krāmĭng
verb
Waiting until the last minute and then scrambling to understand the state propositions on the ballot.

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pə-lĭt’ĭ-kəl klěp’tə-mā’nē-āk
noun
One who has an irresistible impulse to steal campaign signs out of yards.

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thŭ bŭk rŏj’ərz ĭ-fěkt’
noun
A growing desire among a population to be put into suspended animation and awoken on election day in order to avoid the nonstop mediamania, constant polls, ongoing political bickering, pundit B.S., and overall electile anxiety.

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