Dougtionary

prē’mə-tyŏŏr’ kount’doun’ noun An attempt to get a crowd to start shouting numbers from ten to one, long before midnight on New Year’s Eve. Often a test of the drunk level of New Year’s partiers.

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mī fās noun A mixup of social networking sites, confusing Facebook with Myspace and referring to the wrong site.

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bûr’nĭshĭngs noun Furniture that has been torched with fire.

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nōō yîrz ēv ēv ēv ēv noun December 28.

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fə-nān’shəl hāng’ō’vər noun The Visa bill one receives several weeks after Christmas. The Visa bill one receives after an uncontrolled spending spree.

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rěl’ə-tĭv hěd’āk’ noun A head pain caused from spending too much time with family over the holidays, which is often much worse or intense compared to a normal head pain. Double up on the Advil for this type.

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āl’kə-hŏl’ĭ-dā’ noun Any designated day (either official or fabricated) that serves as an excuse to drink.

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fôr’slā noun The activity Mrs. Claus does with Santa on Christmas Eve as he prepares to deliver toys to the children of the world.

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gōst ŭv krĭs’məs pāstout noun From the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. A series of ghosts appear to Ebenezer Scrooge to get him to repent. The Ghost of Christmas Past-out is the only ghost that does not appear, because he drank too much and was unconscious.

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ān’tī-dŭk’tĭv adjective Resulting in or producing nothing of any value.

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bās’tə-roid’ noun One who is offensive or unnecessarily difficult and a pain in the ass. A combination of bastard and hemorrhoid.

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ām’ə-tûr’fīl’ĭng verb Building a picture or detailed description of the kind of person that might have committed a crime, when handled by an untrained or neophyte investigator.

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gāt’wā’ shōō noun The first piece of footwear one throws at a politician or other public figure. Typically a canvas or athletic shoe that leads to further escalation to wing tips, stiletto heels, and eventually spirals to the most dangerous and unpredictable, a heavy duty steel-toe work boot. If you encounter the Dutch, do not [...]

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ĭn-fāk’tĭ-sīd’ noun The act of killing a truth or one who kills truth. Often practiced by corrupt politicians, police and military.

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fī’tə-mĭn noun Alcohol or drugs, or a combination of alcohol and drugs that cause one to pick fights with friends, enemies, total strangers, or inanimate objects. A quantity of alcohol or drugs causes one to pick fights with friends, enemies, total strangers, or inanimate objects. “The seventh shot of Jagermeister is Mikes fightamin. Believe me, [...]

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kāsh-ās’trə-fē noun A large financial failure or meltdown, either personal, corporate or government.

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ām-snē’zhə noun Loss of memory due to an unusually large, traumatic and uncontrollable bout of forcefully expelling air from the mouth and nose. Loss of memory that results in forgetting to wipe one’s nose and/or upper lip of mucus.

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tĭngkt’ adjective Alive, in existence, current or active. The opposite of extinct.

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sāvĭng sprē noun A brief period of extravagant saving, staying at home and doing nothing. Often followed by an even bigger spending spree than normal, continuing the cycle of excess and lack of control.

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trī-pō’lər adjective Relating to a major disorder that is characterized by mood or personality changes that swing wildly in three different directions. 50% worse than bipolar.

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īs-pik trāf’ĭk noun A traffic jam that is so unbearable that ramming oneself in the eye or head with a sharp object seems like a more desirable option.

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shōl’dərbākt noun A situation at a party, social event or other type of gathering in which the people surrounding you turn away, leaving only a view of shoulders and backs.

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ām’ə-chûr’-fān’ĭ-tē noun Soft language, often used to vent frustration or anger, such as drat, dang, gosh-nabbit, and fiddlesticks. Butters’ favorite expression when he gets into trouble, “Aww hamburgers.”

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ô’tō-bī-ŏg’rə-fē noun A history of a person’s life using longhand or a Gutenberg Press, rather than using technology like a typewriter or a computer and printer.

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rĭ-grět’rō-fĭt ‘ĭng verb To feign regret for something that one honestly does not regret. Often used by politicians who fake regret because the public and/or their constituents expect them to if they want to be reelected.

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prōjěst’ěd adjective Sparse, open, uncrowded.

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âr’ə-gəns noun An offensive display of superiority or importance due to inherited wealth or knowledge of forthcoming inherited wealth.

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ôr’gən pôn shŏp noun An emerging business due to the collapsing financial markets and massive layoffs, that supports the sale and purchase of human body parts.

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kāsh’ə-klĭz’əm noun A violent economic collapse of the financial markets.

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nād’věnt’ kāl’ən-dər noun Something you don’t want to open every day until Christmas — it ain’t pretty! see: nadvent season : nadvertising : nad revenue : nad dollars : nad nauseum : nadolescence : naddict : nad infinitum : nad lib : nadvocate : Sacrates : nadvil : ballboard advertisement

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