Dougtionary

fōj’ĭ-târ’ē-ən
noun
One who claims to be vegetarian, but eats chicken, fish or other types of meat that a real vegetarian would never eat.

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jĭf’ə-lĭs
noun
An infectious disease transmitted by sexual contact with peanut butter.

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frī kyŏŏr’ē-əs
adjective
Interested in fried foods, especially when on someone else’s plate.

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dān sĭng
name
A person who moves rhythmically to music.

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spām-bŭngk’shəs
adjective
Difficult to control, wildly boisterous via email, online forums or social networking.

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This word is easily misunderstood due to the fine difference between two very similar pronunciations with very different meanings.
prō’tě-stĭk-yə-lər (emphasis on “Pro”)
adjective
In favor of balls or anything that could be considered ballsy.
prō-těst’-ĭk-yə-lər (emphasis on “Test” or “Protest”)
adjective
Against anything that could be considered ballsy.

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pĭg’nər-əns
noun
A lack of knowledge of swines or police.

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fôr’-māth’
noun
Events leading up to a disaster.

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āb’stə-nĭnth
noun
A bitter liquor that removes one’s ability to get laid.

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āf’tər’sīt’
noun
Knowledge that comes later.
Often the realization, much later, that something that has already occurred was a really bad idea.

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kwāk’mīr’
noun
A fake or inept doctor in a difficult or precarious situation.

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hĭp’ē-thět’ĭ-kəl
adjective
Theoretical or assumed and related to 60’s & 70’s counterculture and anti-establishment.

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wôl strēt fī’nāns’ stānd
noun
A portable table and sign typically used by children to sell lemonade, but instead used by laid off analysts in New York who stop people passing by and give them discounted advice on handling their money.

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z’ən-tā’shən
noun
The middle part of a demonstration, lecture or speech that comes after the “presentation” and before the “postsentation.”

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kām’ē-ō’-nĭm’bəs
noun
A dense cloud, often producing heavy rain, that only makes a brief appearance.

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jō’nŭs brŭth’ərs pōōl
noun
A type of gambling involving a collection of money from friends or coworkers and a guess as to which Jonas Brother will be the first to ditch the purity ring and get laid, along with the date that it will happen.

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ĭm-pyŏŏr’ĭ-tē rĭng
noun
A piece of jewelry that signifies one is searching for the next decent opportunity to have sex with another person.
The anti-Jonas Brothers ring.

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kyōōm’yə-lŭst
noun
An overwhelming desire or craving for white fluffy clouds.

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dā’zhä vōō’dōō
noun
A magical rite or curse that gives one the impression of having seen or experienced something before.

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sā’jĭz’əm
noun
Discrimination against a profoundly wise person.

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rā’jĭz’əm
noun
Discrimination against a person who has violent outbursts.

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sär’kāzē’əm rĭth’əm
noun
A 24 hour cycle of sharply ironical taunt or cutting remarks.

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cär’kə-lěp’tĭk
noun
One who has a condition characterized by attacks of deep sleep when inside a moving vehicle.

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chou’ mān’
noun
Italian Chinese fusion food.

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dĭ-spâr’ə-gəs
noun
A vegetable that when eaten, causes hopelessness.

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trī’ə-dē
noun
50% funnier than a parody.

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pī’rō-prāk’tôr
noun
One whose occupation is the practice of setting fire and burning things.

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dŭb’əl chĭn-chĭl’ə
noun
An overweight South American rodent with an extra fold of skin in it’s lower face, which makes it extremely self conscious when having it’s photo taken.

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brēf pět’ē ô’fĭ-sər
noun
An enlisted man in the Navy or Coast Guard who is in charge of underwear.

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shēp’skāt’
noun
One who is stingy and unwilling to share their wooly animals.

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