Dougtionary

fōj’ĭ-târ’ē-ən noun One who claims to be vegetarian, but eats chicken, fish or other types of meat that a real vegetarian would never eat.

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jĭf’ə-lĭs noun An infectious disease transmitted by sexual contact with peanut butter.

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frī kyŏŏr’ē-əs adjective Interested in fried foods, especially when on someone else’s plate.

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dān sĭng name A person who moves rhythmically to music.

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spām-bŭngk’shəs adjective Difficult to control, wildly boisterous via email, online forums or social networking.

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This word is easily misunderstood due to the fine difference between two very similar pronunciations with very different meanings. prō’tě-stĭk-yə-lər (emphasis on “Pro”) adjective In favor of balls or anything that could be considered ballsy. prō-těst’-ĭk-yə-lər (emphasis on “Test” or “Protest”) adjective Against anything that could be considered ballsy.

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pĭg’nər-əns noun A lack of knowledge of swines or police.

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fôr’-māth’ noun Events leading up to a disaster.

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āb’stə-nĭnth noun A bitter liquor that removes one’s ability to get laid.

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āf’tər’sīt’ noun Knowledge that comes later. Often the realization, much later, that something that has already occurred was a really bad idea.

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kwāk’mīr’ noun A fake or inept doctor in a difficult or precarious situation.

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hĭp’ē-thět’ĭ-kəl adjective Theoretical or assumed and related to 60′s & 70′s counterculture and anti-establishment.

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wôl strēt fī’nāns’ stānd noun A portable table and sign typically used by children to sell lemonade, but instead used by laid off analysts in New York who stop people passing by and give them discounted advice on handling their money.

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z’ən-tā’shən noun The middle part of a demonstration, lecture or speech that comes after the “presentation” and before the “postsentation.”

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kām’ē-ō’-nĭm’bəs noun A dense cloud, often producing heavy rain, that only makes a brief appearance.

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jō’nŭs brŭth’ərs pōōl noun A type of gambling involving a collection of money from friends or coworkers and a guess as to which Jonas Brother will be the first to ditch the purity ring and get laid, along with the date that it will happen.

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ĭm-pyŏŏr’ĭ-tē rĭng noun A piece of jewelry that signifies one is searching for the next decent opportunity to have sex with another person. The anti-Jonas Brothers ring.

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kyōōm’yə-lŭst noun An overwhelming desire or craving for white fluffy clouds.

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dā’zhä vōō’dōō noun A magical rite or curse that gives one the impression of having seen or experienced something before.

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sā’jĭz’əm noun Discrimination against a profoundly wise person.

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rā’jĭz’əm noun Discrimination against a person who has violent outbursts.

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sär’kāzē’əm rĭth’əm noun A 24 hour cycle of sharply ironical taunt or cutting remarks.

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cär’kə-lěp’tĭk noun One who has a condition characterized by attacks of deep sleep when inside a moving vehicle.

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chou’ mān’ noun Italian Chinese fusion food.

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dĭ-spâr’ə-gəs noun A vegetable that when eaten, causes hopelessness.

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trī’ə-dē noun 50% funnier than a parody.

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pī’rō-prāk’tôr noun One whose occupation is the practice of setting fire and burning things.

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dŭb’əl chĭn-chĭl’ə noun An overweight South American rodent with an extra fold of skin in it’s lower face, which makes it extremely self conscious when having it’s photo taken.

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brēf pět’ē ô’fĭ-sər noun An enlisted man in the Navy or Coast Guard who is in charge of underwear.

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shēp’skāt’ noun One who is stingy and unwilling to share their wooly animals.

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