Dougtionary

swĭg’nər-əns noun Lacking knowledge about the drink one is consuming. Usually occurs from drinking whatever alcohol is handed to you without asking what it is.

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fôr’lŏg’ noun A visible stream of work or tasks on the horizon that cannot be stopped and is way too much to keep up with once it arrives. Upon arrival it will become a backlog.

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pār’ə-noi’ə noun An extreme, irrational distrust of fruit.

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kār’ə-tās’trə-fē noun A disaster involving vegetables.

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hī’pər-sīdĭng verb To always take an extreme ideological position that cannot be reasonably argued.

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mās-bŏŏk noun A website where you spray people with chemicals that burn their eyes to keep them away. An antisocial networking site.

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mět’ə-fôr’plā’ noun A figure of speech that leads to sex.

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nād’vər-sěr’ē noun A ballsy opponent.

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mět’ə-bôr’ noun An uninteresting figure of speech that makes an implicit comparison.

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ŭn-jām-blŏgĭng verb Catching up on posting or promoting weblog entries that were impeded by prior technological glitches.

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lĭng’gwə-lěr’ē noun A place where new words are born, written and spoken for the first time, and raised. Basically an aviary for neologisms.

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bōō-bē ī-q rĭ-dŭk’shən fāk’tər noun A number that represents the amount of IQ points that one loses per each pair of breasts within a 10 foot radius.

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pī’rō-tē’nē noun A flaming cocktail.

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mām’ə-lěp’sē noun See “Breastlepsy“.

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brěst-lěp’sē noun A disorder of the nervous system characterized by severe convulsions when one sees titties.

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blēp-ə-rē noun A place where foul language gets masked before a program is aired on TV.

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krāp-ə-fī’ verb To make a product cheaper to save component or production costs at the expense of the consumer who gets a sub-par product.

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stŏk tĭk’ər jŭng’kē noun One who obsessively tracks wall street and has a rolling list on their computer, screen saver, television, iPhone, etc.

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ī-ō’tə-hô’lĭk adjective Pertaining to one who is addicted to doing as little as possible. Way worse than a pro-slacker.

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prĭ-dĭk’yə-ləs adjective Absurd or preposterous, even before you hear or see it.

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fär-tē’nē noun A mixed drink that smells like shit.

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pŏŏsh-stärt-ə-hô’lĭk adjective Pertaining to one who prefers a more physical method for starting a manual-transmission car even when the battery is working fine. My friend Shawn is a pushstartaholic. Even when the battery is working, he likes to get behind the car and use brute force to get it moving, while I pop the clutch [...]

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krām-bĭsh’əs adjective Having a belief that there will be plenty of time the night before a major deadline.

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pā-krās’tə-nāt’ verb Waiting until the very last minute to gather ones clothes and other items needed for a trip, which often involves a severe lack of sleep the night before departure.

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vā’gāz’əm noun The moist result one gets from hitting a huge jackpot in Nevada.

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pŭp’ə-fī’ verb To make something more cute in order to draw attention.

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kär’rŭpt’-sē noun The act or process of an auto manufacturing company becoming a total failure.

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qwĭp’ə-pŏt’ə-məs noun A large herbivorous mammal that lives in and near rivers or lakes of Africa and often makes clever or witty remarks.

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āf’rō-pō’ noun An opportune African-American hair style.

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pər-dĭk’ĭ-tē adjective Finicky and abrasive.

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