Dougtionary

stŭf ĭn-fěk’shən noun A condition often not diagnosed until one moves from one residence to another and realizes they have too much shit.

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mōōvĭng bŏks kŏn’sən-trā’shən noun A game played typically when moving into a new house, where one tries to find a specific item by opening the least number of boxes. Similar to the card game concentration, but involving a lot more work and frustration.

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ās-tĭk’yə-lĭt verb To speak clearly from one’s ass.

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brĭ-mō’shən noun A strong feeling towards a white to light yellow gourmet cheese.

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nŏz’ə-lē’əm noun A place where garden hose spray handles are laid to rest.

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skō-hôl’ noun The Miami-Dade street painters union. Miami-Dade: Painters misspell the word ‘school’ in school zone. (article in the Sun Sentinel)

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sěs’ə-mē twēt noun A 140 character or less message from Elmo and/or other muppets.

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pär’kə-lěp’sē noun A condition characterized by frequent and uncontrollable periods of deep sleep in public grassy areas.

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flāsh’ən noun Clothing that can’t be ignored.

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bŏks’-stə-kəl noun A cardboard container that gets in the way, obstructs or hinders, especially a high quantity in a small apartment.

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pāk-zôs’chən noun Extreme fatigue from packing all of one’s possessions in preparation for a move.

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dōō-shā’ interjection Used in argument, conversation or debate. If one person presents an argument and another delivers an arrogant or inconsiderate response, the first person may respond with “douché” as a way of acknowledging an a-hole response.

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ěs’krō’ fī’bər noun Something our escrow company clearly has not been getting enough of, causing the transaction not to move along smoothly and resulting in unnecessary delays to our closing date. Real estate roughage.

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dōō’flĭ-kĭt noun Doofus + duplicate. Typically occurs in real estate transactions when buyers or sellers are asked to sign a new copy of the exact same document that they already signed, and the escrow agent can’t explain why it “needs” to be signed again.

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hānd krām-pī’tĭs noun Limited use of the hand due to overextension from signing a ton of loan and escrow documents when buying a house.

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nĭm’bə-sĭl noun A weatherman who doesn’t know the different types of clouds.

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hôr’jəs adjective Dazzlingly beautiful and promiscuous.

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hām’ə-nə noun Endurance and determination for eating large amounts of pork products.

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dŭm’-mŏl’ĭsh noun Destroying something stupid. Can be either something that is already destroyed or something you’ll later regret destroying. Jeff woke up the next morning after the party and discovered he had thrown his television through the large picture window. He dumbolished it.

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thĭn’ĭ-kē adjective Fussy about weight when one is unhealthily thin, often seen in anorexics or bulimics.

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frē-ās’kō noun A complete failure that doesn’t cost anything.

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trī-nām’ĭk adjective 50% more effective than dynamic.

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krŏk-sŭk’ər noun Anyone who buys or wears plastic clogs.

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sāng-zī’ĭ-tē noun Emotional distress about singing that occurs afterwards.

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fēstə-ēstə noun A person in the food industry, especially one who works at a buffet.

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ělf děp’rĭ-kāt’ĭng adjective Belittling or undervaluing oneself, specifically by a sprite or fairy.

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rŏk’ĭ-tîr’ĭng noun The practice of conducting or engaging in extortion from NASA or the production of liquor in outer space.

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brĭ-lā’tĭd adjective Very happy, proud or excited over a gourmet cheese.

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sāb’ə-tûr’kē noun A bird involved in undermining and causing things to go afowl.

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pē-krās’tə-nāt’ verb To avoid urinating until it becomes painfully urgent, often when there is no bathroom anywhere nearby.

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