Dougtionary

sər-kŏn’fər-əns
noun
A business conference call that talks around the edge of the issues by never gets into the core of a problem.
A business conference call that talks in circles without ever accomplishing anything of value.

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pār’ə-noid’
adjective
Characterized by an irrational fear or distrust of an elongated fruit that grows smaller towards the stem.

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prĭk’shô
noun
A cartlike passenger vehicle pulled by a highly abrasive individual.

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blār’ə-noid’
adjective
Characterized by an irrational fear of Tony Blair.

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ěgō-sĭs’təm
noun
A community surrounding maple syrup and waffles.

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tĭt’l-ē
adverb
In a manner relating to breasts.

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mär’kə-lěp’sē
noun
My brother Mark’s ability to fall asleep.

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drāg’ə-dō’sē-ō’
noun
One who brags about dressing in clothing meant for the opposite sex.

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pŭngk’yə-lər
adjective
Of or pertaining to unconventional and aggressive youth.

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pōōn’dô’gəl
noun
A series of unsuccessful attempts to attract a woman who will never show any interest.

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twĭt’gāz’əm
noun
An excessive series of tweets over a short period of time.

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spŭn’jənt
adjective
Porous with an extremely sharp smell.

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twĭt-krās’tə-nāt’
verb
To defer action on something important by spending time reading 140 character (or less) posts and sending tweets.

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blŏg bělch
noun
An instance where automated blog posts to social media such as Facebook fail to post or stall for a period of time and then all the backlogged posts come flooding at once, creating a quick succession of note posts or status updates to all of one’s friends.
verb
A sudden succession of blog posts cascading through [...]

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twĭt-těl’ə-jənt
adjective
Having knowledge received via Twitter.

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ē’gō-sĭs’təm
noun
A community of people that surround a person that reeks of self-importance, often seen in Hollywood, politics and music, especially rap groups and their posse.

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ěk’ə-nŏm’ĭks
noun
The science that deals with unrestrained personal spending.

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nûrb
noun
A word that is both a verb and a noun, such as paint, fly or screen.

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vāj’ĭk-tĭv
noun
A female body part that modifies a noun.

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lĭng’gwəl-tē’nē
noun
An alcoholic drink that causes one to utter bigger and fancier words than they would normally speak.

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hoist’yə-ləs
adjective
Capable of being lifted overhead.
When the high school football team wins their homecoming game and a large number of fans go crazy with excitement, the goalpost becomes hoistulous.

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pī’ə-nîr’
noun
One who innovates in fruit filled desserts.

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ē-gôr strāp-ŏnskē
name
An aspiring Russian composer who was better known for his sex toys.

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ĭgôr strā-pŏn’skē
name
An aspiring Russian musician who was better known for his sex toys.

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chô’kə-lĭ-sīd’
noun
Death by falling into a vat of chocolate, which occurred to a temporary worker at the Cocoa Services Inc plant in New Jersey, today.

This death was foreshadowed many years ago by the Smothers Brothers.

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kĭch’ən kŏn’sən-trā’shən
noun
A memory game played in a new kitchen after moving, which is essentially “where does ____ go?” or “where did the ____ go?” In either instance the intention is to open the fewest cupboard doors or drawers as possible.

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nōz-’trə-dä’məs
person
A visionary ho can predict when someone will stick their finger in their nostril.

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âr’ē-ə fĭf’tē-wŭn rŭg
noun
Very little is known about this secretive thick fabric, developed by the military, aside from it’s most basic use — to cover part of a floor.

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fĭk-splō’zhən
noun
A small fix-it project cascades into a much bigger ordeal.
In our new house my dad helped me install a water filter under the kitchen sink, then the drain pipes from the garbage disposal came apart in his hands, without tools, so we had to replace them, and then the fittings for the water filter didn’t [...]

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ə-pē’shē-ā’shən
noun
Recognition or gratitude for a really good urination.
Recognition or gratitude toward something that assists in avoiding a stressed bladder, like the iPhone app “RunPee“. (See this article on ABC News.)

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