Dougtionary

noun Making out with a total stranger on New Year’s Eve. (That’s fake word #806, and it’s the final fake word of 2009. Happy New Year!)

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nŏl’ĭj pōch’ĭng noun Spending lots of time in a book store reading books but never buying anything. Reading a book cover to cover at a book store and putting it back on the shelf.

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wrěk-nēk’ noun A method or ability for destruction.

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krŭd”ə-bəl adjective Incapable of being believed. Not worthy of belief or confidence. Not trustworthy.

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kā’pə-bəl adjective Having the ability to fly when sporting a sleeveless garment that ties at the neck.

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sō’lər-kō’stər noun A green amusement park ride that is powered by the sun.

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sān’tə klôz’trə-fō’bĭk adjective Being uncomfortable with getting stuck inside a chimney.

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tāk’əl thē pōp dā noun Christmas Eve.

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slā pē ěs noun Santa’s global positioning system.

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ělf-āsh’ən dĭ-zī’nər noun A person who creates clothing for Santa’s little helpers.

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ělf-ěl-ŭp’ŭ-gŭs noun A small wooly mammoth-ish animal that is one of Santa’s helpers.

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měn-stōōl sī’kəl noun A situation that occurs when a group of men live together, take long road trips together or spend a lot of time hanging out together or doing other activities and they all end up in sync and on the same daily schedule for taking a dump.

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kĭn’dl-ĭng noun An e-reader device, when accidentally thrown on a fire at a book burning.

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slāk-sěs’ə-rē noun Any item that kills time and prevents productive work, such as an iPhone with addictive games.

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kĭ-lŏm’ĭ-tər’stōn’ noun A somewhat important event that is approximately 38% less significant than a milestone. (37.862880776% less, to be more precise)

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sĭk’lə-kāl adjective Related to being unhealthy with a cold or flu, followed by getting well and then getting sick again.

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dwěl-tĭs’ə-rē noun A home that rotates. Check out the Everingham Rotating House in Australia:

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nē’ə-flīt’ noun A novice who runs away from a challenge or situation.

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plān’ər-kē noun A political organization that is caught between well thought out strategy and uncontrolled chaos.

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mām’ə-rēz noun Fake boobs.

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fī’bər-krīm noun The act of sabotaging someone’s meal with massive amounts of bran with the intention to incapacitate.

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pŏd’ə-mē noun The act of copulation with an iPod.

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brōō’ən-sē noun The act of being absent from an obligation or event due to losing track of time while drinking at a bar.

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fēst’chē-āl’ĭ-tē noun Sexual relations between a person and food. (It’s a trend that’s been on the rise since the movie American Pie made it more acceptable.)

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sĭn-těl noun Knowledge of the immoral actions of another person.

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skē-bāgĭng verb To dangle a winter sports bag onto someone’s face or into someone’s mouth.

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fŭjĭ-tĭv noun A soft candy that is on the run or hiding from prosecution.

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bär’sən noun The act of willfully starting a fire inside a tavern.

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gī’sĭ-kəl noun A frozen ween, caused by urinating outdoors in sub-zero weather.

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frāp’chər noun The act of breaking a bone caused by a mishap with a blended coffee drink.

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