Dougtionary

fěl’ən-tīnz’ dā
noun
A holiday that is celebrated by giving candy and exchanging greeting cards with convicts.

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sāk rĭ-lĭj’əs
Noun
The practice of worshiping nads.

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ās rěk’əg-nĭsh’ən
noun
A feature in Cadillac cars that identifies one’s butt and automatically adjusts the seats and mirrors to one’s presets.

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də-brē’-lŭng’kĭng
verb
Using climbing gear to navigate through the neighborhood after a storm leaves tree branches, logs and trash scattered all over the neighborhood.

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strēt kə-nōō’ĭng
verb
Paddling a boat down the street after a ginormous rainstorm floods the neighborhood.

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ôr-gān’ĭk cär’dn
noun
Something that grows inside one’s car, usually from not cleaning it for long periods of time or from leaving food in it while parked in a sunny spot.

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fāktĭsh
adjective
Characterized as truth when it really is not.
Often used by politicians or television shows that pretend to be news.

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fō-kā’shən
A fake occupation, often used in conversation to impress a total stranger.

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brĭ-sěsh’ən
noun
A severe economic decline where rich people can no longer afford to buy gourmet cheeses.

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ē’māl’ slŭsh
noun
Crud that clogs up your inbox and can make it difficult to find legitimate messages from friends or colleagues.

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bī-fär’tĭ-zən
noun
A condition or situation where both political parties are doing nothing but emitting gas.

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ōm’ə-lĭt
noun
A breakfast egg dish that has electrical resistance.

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kī’āk’əl
noun
An extremely humorous canoey type water sport that causes a shrill laughter.

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rō’mə-tōs’
noun
An unconscious tomato.

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brō-hāb’ĭ-tā’shən
noun
Sharing a room, such as a dorm room, with a close friend.

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ĭn’tər-ĭm-jŏb
noun
A temporary or provisional arrangement for gratification.

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klŏk’ər spān’yəl
noun
A dog that can tell time.

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kou’ə-blāng’kə
noun
The barnyard version of the Bogart classic.

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ĭn’frôg-nē’tō
noun
The state of being disguised as Kermit.

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brē-lŭng’kər
noun
A person who explores cheese chiefly as a hobby.

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sō’shəl āl’kə-hô’lĭk
noun
One who only drinks excessively in the company of friends.

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fŏnt spŏn’tə-nē’ĭ-tē
noun
An impulsive use of varying typefaces.

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də-brē’-lôgd
adjective
Surrounded by or saturated with debris, often from runoff of a huge rainstorm.

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mŭd wô’tər-lôg’d
adjective
Surrounded by or saturated with mud from landslides or rainstorm runoff.

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jāk’tə-vĭz’əm
noun
Fake activism.
Tweeting or joining Facebook groups but not doing jack shit to really help or further the cause or issue.

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sě-rān’dĭp-ĭ-tē
noun
Good fortune with plastic wrap.

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chĭm’plə-mənt
verb
To put into effect with a plan so simple that monkeys could do it.

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kěn’tə-mŏl’ə-jē
noun
The study of Superman.

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blä-měnt’
noun
A mild or almost nonexistent expression of grief or sorrow.

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dŭb’əl-yōō-nēk’
adjective
Twice as much of having no equal.

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