Dougtionary

ĭg’ôr-ə-fō’bē-ə noun The fear of hunchbacks.

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stŭd-sěn’trĭk adjective Concerned with or focused on one’s own masculinity and ability to breed. (Today’s word was prompted by a comment to a post on 1/7/09)

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blŏg’goi-yō-vĭch noun One who writes short posts for the web and attempts to sell their posts to the highest bidder or trade them for an appointment to positions such as the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Secretary of Energy, or an ambassador to a country that can be neglected.

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hĭp’ō-glī-sē’mē-ə noun An abnormally low level of glucose in the blood of a large herbivorous mammal that lives in and around the rivers of tropical Africa.

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pēlězh’ər verb Urinating in your free time. (If done right, it can be relaxing!)

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nād-mĭn’ĭ-strā’shən noun An executive branch with huge balls and no brains. (Fortunately they are leaving on “Liberation Day”, Jan 20, 2009.)

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kāsh’kĭt noun A figurative place where the wealth of the United States citizens was buried in 2008.

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rěz’ə-lōō’shən fyōō-tĭl’ĭ-tē noun A religion, doctrine or belief that resolutions never last long enough to be worth the effort.

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prē’mə-tyŏŏr’ kount’doun’ noun An attempt to get a crowd to start shouting numbers from ten to one, long before midnight on New Year’s Eve. Often a test of the drunk level of New Year’s partiers.

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mī fās noun A mixup of social networking sites, confusing Facebook with Myspace and referring to the wrong site.

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bûr’nĭshĭngs noun Furniture that has been torched with fire.

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nōō yîrz ēv ēv ēv ēv noun December 28.

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fə-nān’shəl hāng’ō’vər noun The Visa bill one receives several weeks after Christmas. The Visa bill one receives after an uncontrolled spending spree.

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rěl’ə-tĭv hěd’āk’ noun A head pain caused from spending too much time with family over the holidays, which is often much worse or intense compared to a normal head pain. Double up on the Advil for this type.

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āl’kə-hŏl’ĭ-dā’ noun Any designated day (either official or fabricated) that serves as an excuse to drink.

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fôr’slā noun The activity Mrs. Claus does with Santa on Christmas Eve as he prepares to deliver toys to the children of the world.

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gōst ŭv krĭs’məs pāstout noun From the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. A series of ghosts appear to Ebenezer Scrooge to get him to repent. The Ghost of Christmas Past-out is the only ghost that does not appear, because he drank too much and was unconscious.

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ān’tī-dŭk’tĭv adjective Resulting in or producing nothing of any value.

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ām’ə-tûr’fīl’ĭng verb Building a picture or detailed description of the kind of person that might have committed a crime, when handled by an untrained or neophyte investigator.

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gāt’wā’ shōō noun The first piece of footwear one throws at a politician or other public figure. Typically a canvas or athletic shoe that leads to further escalation to wing tips, stiletto heels, and eventually spirals to the most dangerous and unpredictable, a heavy duty steel-toe work boot. If you encounter the Dutch, do not [...]

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ĭn-fāk’tĭ-sīd’ noun The act of killing a truth or one who kills truth. Often practiced by corrupt politicians, police and military.

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fī’tə-mĭn noun Alcohol or drugs, or a combination of alcohol and drugs that cause one to pick fights with friends, enemies, total strangers, or inanimate objects. A quantity of alcohol or drugs causes one to pick fights with friends, enemies, total strangers, or inanimate objects. “The seventh shot of Jagermeister is Mikes fightamin. Believe me, [...]

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kāsh-ās’trə-fē noun A large financial failure or meltdown, either personal, corporate or government.

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ām-snē’zhə noun Loss of memory due to an unusually large, traumatic and uncontrollable bout of forcefully expelling air from the mouth and nose. Loss of memory that results in forgetting to wipe one’s nose and/or upper lip of mucus.

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tĭngkt’ adjective Alive, in existence, current or active. The opposite of extinct.

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sāvĭng sprē noun A brief period of extravagant saving, staying at home and doing nothing. Often followed by an even bigger spending spree than normal, continuing the cycle of excess and lack of control.

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trī-pō’lər adjective Relating to a major disorder that is characterized by mood or personality changes that swing wildly in three different directions. 50% worse than bipolar.

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īs-pik trāf’ĭk noun A traffic jam that is so unbearable that ramming oneself in the eye or head with a sharp object seems like a more desirable option.

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ām’ə-chûr’-fān’ĭ-tē noun Soft language, often used to vent frustration or anger, such as drat, dang, gosh-nabbit, and fiddlesticks. Butters’ favorite expression when he gets into trouble, “Aww hamburgers.”

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ô’tō-bī-ŏg’rə-fē noun A history of a person’s life using longhand or a Gutenberg Press, rather than using technology like a typewriter or a computer and printer.

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