Dougtionary

ˈpə-pē -bȯrdˈiŋ
noun
An interrogation technique in which two or more small dogs lick the target’s mouth and nose so vigorously that it is difficult to breath and often causes one to give up state secrets they didn’t even know they possessed.

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fěl’ən-tīnz’ dā
noun
A holiday that is celebrated by giving candy and exchanging greeting cards with convicts.

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sāk rĭ-lĭj’əs
Noun
The practice of worshiping nads.

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ās rěk’əg-nĭsh’ən
noun
A feature in Cadillac cars that identifies one’s butt and automatically adjusts the seats and mirrors to one’s presets.

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də-brē’-lŭng’kĭng
verb
Using climbing gear to navigate through the neighborhood after a storm leaves tree branches, logs and trash scattered all over the neighborhood.

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strēt kə-nōō’ĭng
verb
Paddling a boat down the street after a ginormous rainstorm floods the neighborhood.

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ôr-gān’ĭk cär’dn
noun
Something that grows inside one’s car, usually from not cleaning it for long periods of time or from leaving food in it while parked in a sunny spot.

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fāktĭsh
adjective
Characterized as truth when it really is not.
Often used by politicians or television shows that pretend to be news.

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fō-kā’shən
A fake occupation, often used in conversation to impress a total stranger.

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brĭ-sěsh’ən
noun
A severe economic decline where rich people can no longer afford to buy gourmet cheeses.

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ē’māl’ slŭsh
noun
Crud that clogs up your inbox and can make it difficult to find legitimate messages from friends or colleagues.

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bī-fär’tĭ-zən
noun
A condition or situation where both political parties are doing nothing but emitting gas.

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ōm’ə-lĭt
noun
A breakfast egg dish that has electrical resistance.

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kī’āk’əl
noun
An extremely humorous canoey type water sport that causes a shrill laughter.

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rō’mə-tōs’
noun
An unconscious tomato.

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brō-hāb’ĭ-tā’shən
noun
Sharing a room, such as a dorm room, with a close friend.

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ĭn’tər-ĭm-jŏb
noun
A temporary or provisional arrangement for gratification.

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klŏk’ər spān’yəl
noun
A dog that can tell time.

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kou’ə-blāng’kə
noun
The barnyard version of the Bogart classic.

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ĭn’frôg-nē’tō
noun
The state of being disguised as Kermit.

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brē-lŭng’kər
noun
A person who explores cheese chiefly as a hobby.

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sō’shəl āl’kə-hô’lĭk
noun
One who only drinks excessively in the company of friends.

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fŏnt spŏn’tə-nē’ĭ-tē
noun
An impulsive use of varying typefaces.

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də-brē’-lôgd
adjective
Surrounded by or saturated with debris, often from runoff of a huge rainstorm.

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mŭd wô’tər-lôg’d
adjective
Surrounded by or saturated with mud from landslides or rainstorm runoff.

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jāk’tə-vĭz’əm
noun
Fake activism.
Tweeting or joining Facebook groups but not doing jack shit to really help or further the cause or issue.

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sě-rān’dĭp-ĭ-tē
noun
Good fortune with plastic wrap.

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chĭm’plə-mənt
verb
To put into effect with a plan so simple that monkeys could do it.

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kěn’tə-mŏl’ə-jē
noun
The study of Superman.

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blä-měnt’
noun
A mild or almost nonexistent expression of grief or sorrow.

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