Dougtionary

rěz’ə-lōō’shən fyōō-tĭl’ĭ-tē noun A religion, doctrine or belief that resolutions never last long enough to be worth the effort.

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fə-nān’shəl hāng’ō’vər noun The Visa bill one receives several weeks after Christmas. The Visa bill one receives after an uncontrolled spending spree.

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rěl’ə-tĭv hěd’āk’ noun A head pain caused from spending too much time with family over the holidays, which is often much worse or intense compared to a normal head pain. Double up on the Advil for this type.

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āl’kə-hŏl’ĭ-dā’ noun Any designated day (either official or fabricated) that serves as an excuse to drink.

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fôr’slā noun The activity Mrs. Claus does with Santa on Christmas Eve as he prepares to deliver toys to the children of the world.

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gōst ŭv krĭs’məs pāstout noun From the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. A series of ghosts appear to Ebenezer Scrooge to get him to repent. The Ghost of Christmas Past-out is the only ghost that does not appear, because he drank too much and was unconscious.

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nād’věnt’ sē’zən noun The time of year when Evil Santa gets loaded and frequently exposes his genitals.

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blāk sāt’ər-dē noun A day of mourning for people injured or killed in a Walmart stampede.

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ōld skōōl krĭs’məs shŏpĭng noun The act of going to a mall to buy presents instead of purchasing online.

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